For Renana
Special jewel, you welcomed me on my sojourn in this foreign land
Born of the southern winds, tanned as the sand that blew
Your demure (look it up, girl) brown eyes reflected radiant light
And immeasurable sadness
They wove a spell over me
Challenging my strengths
Baring my weaknesses and insecurities
Leaving me wanting
Your long light brown hair draped my nakedness like a forest of silk
Covering my flesh and emotions, as they ran hot and cold
Fleeing the heat and coveting the dark of the star-filled desert night
Your beauty was undeniable, your sadness a well I could never penetrate
I feared your going, as much as coming
I wanted to save myself by saving you
But I was not ready – and neither were you
The clock struck and it was time to go
Although we later met here and there, and I made big promises
I still wasn’t ready
My inner disquiet took years to pass and yet, as it now has, I now find that you are gone
No goodbyes and only threadbare memories left
I don’t know what your disquiet was
I suppose the sadness won out